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DUSTIN FUCKING SIMS

Storyteller. Bad Decision Maker. Banned From Motel 6.

UPCOMING COURT DATES

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Woodlands, TX 

July 22nd

Canyon Lake, TX 

July 24th

San Antonio, TX 

July 25th

Mountain Home, AR

August 14th

Little Rock, AR 

August 20-22nd

La Jolla, CA   

September 11-13th

Smryna, TN

September 18-19th

Nashville, TN 

September 20th

Wichita, KS   

October 22nd

Tulsa, OK   

October 23-24th

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Best show ever. Plus he's so hot."

 - Definitely A Real Person

⭐⭐☆☆☆

"He owes me money. Fuck him."

 - Craig

⭐☆☆☆☆

"He's still doing that?"

 - My Mom

"We do not know this man."

 - TIME MAGAZINE

"Nominated For Best Personality"

 - PORNHUB

The O-Shit! Kit

Started as a joke. Now my ass can't live without it.

• Installs in about 10 minutes

• Fits most standard toilets

• Surprisingly life-changing

Get The O-Shit! Kit
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THINK YOUR TOWN IS FUCKED UP ENOUGH? PROVE IT.

Who is the Local Legend?

Any Town Gossip?

Tell me who to roast.

Got a venue or a local business?

I'm listening.

Contact us

1 BILLION+ VIEWS 

2M+ FOLLOWERS

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LOCAL LEGEND 

Not famous. Just legendary.

$31.99

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BAD DECISIONS TOUR

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

$31.99

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DUSTY CASH

Good intentions. Terrible execution.

$31.99

OFFICIAL SOUVENIRS FROM THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

Proof you were here before things got worse.

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Keith Morrison Is My Lullaby

Some people count sheep

$31.99

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i Crochet & Watch True Crime

Everybody needs a hobby

$31.99

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"So I Don't Commit One" Mug

Self-Awareness is Important

$19.99

FOR THE WOMEN WHO FALL ASLEEP TO MURDER

Dana made these. I'm just trying to stay alive.

AVAILABLE FOR BAD IDEAS

Comedy Shows.
Private Events.
Corporate Events.
Gender Reveals.
Funerals Attended.

Also Sabotage.

📧 bookings@dustinsimscomedy.com

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© Dustin Sims • Under New Management (Still Me)​

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